Begin with curiosity
Anxiety can appear in many different ways
Worry is a normal part of growing up. It may need more attention when it is constant, getting worse or interfering with school, home life, friendships or everyday activities. You do not need to diagnose your child to take their distress seriously.
Three useful things to do today
- Choose a calm moment and describe what you have noticed.
- Ask one simple question, then listen without rushing to fix it.
- Write down patterns and one small thing that seems to help.
Step 1
Notice signs and patterns
Anxiety may look like fear, but it can also look like anger, avoidance, perfectionism, physical illness or behaviour that feels difficult.
Step 2
Open the conversation gently
Try not to begin at the height of an argument or rushed morning. Start with what you have seen, rather than telling them what they feel.
“I’ve noticed you seem worried and things have felt harder lately. I’m not here to judge you. What feels most difficult right now?”
Questions that can help
- When does the worry feel strongest?
- What thoughts or feelings show up?
- What helps—even a little?
- Who else would feel safe to talk to?
Try to avoid
- “There is nothing to worry about”
- long questioning when they are distressed
- calling them dramatic or attention-seeking
- promising to keep a safety concern secret
Step 3
Help during an anxious moment
“You are not in trouble. We do not need to solve everything right now. Let’s work out the next ten minutes.”
Step 4
Support without making avoidance stronger
Removing every difficult situation can bring quick relief but may make the fear feel more powerful next time. The aim is not to force or overwhelm your child. It is to help them approach manageable steps with support.
- Break the situation into smaller, predictable steps.
- Agree what support will be available before, during and afterwards.
- Notice effort and courage, not only a perfect outcome.
- Keep routines steady where you reasonably can.
- Review what helped and adjust the next step.
Working with school
Share facts and ask for a clear plan
Tell school what has changed, when it started, what your child says, any patterns and what has helped. Ask what staff have noticed and who will coordinate support.
A useful plan should include
Depending on need, this may involve pastoral staff, the form tutor, head of year, attendance lead or SENCO. Ask how your child’s views will be included.
Professional help
Know when to ask for more support
Speak to a GP if anxiety is constant, worsening, self-help is not working or it is affecting school, family life or friendships. The GP can advise and may refer your child to children and young people’s mental-health services. School may also know about local support or referral routes.
You can speak to the GP yourself first if your child finds the idea of an appointment difficult. Do not give, stop or change medication without medical advice.
Find trusted support servicesSelf-harm, suicidal thoughts or immediate risk
Take safety concerns seriously
Ask directly and calmly if you are worried your child may be thinking about harming themselves or ending their life. Asking does not put the idea in their head. Listen, stay with them and seek help.
- If someone’s life is at risk, they have seriously injured themselves, taken an overdose, or you cannot keep them safe: call 999 or go to A&E now.
- For urgent mental-health help in England: call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option, use NHS 111 online, or ask for an urgent GP appointment.
- Tell school: share the concern with the designated safeguarding lead so support can be coordinated.
Trusted information used for this guide
Reviewed 7 September 2026. This page provides general guidance and does not replace advice from a healthcare professional, school or emergency service. NHS routes shown are for England.